Learning Lessons From Others' Mistakes

Wow, had a crazy wake-up call/lesson learned this afternoon.

Some poor, not all that bright blogger wrote a blog in May of this year about a news story and ended up using what he likely thought was a perfectly innocent, likely free photo off the internet.

What he had no idea of at the time (though should have researched) was that the man who both took and starred in the photo is now a writer and very well known actor for a comedy website that many people frequent (myself included). He is a beloved face on the website for his humor, charm and immodesty about his own good looks.

So when this paragon of comedy innocently did an image search on his own face (please, don't act like you've never done it) he was shocked to find this picture of himself just floating wilhe-nilhe about the internet. It was unlicensed and unaccredited everywhere it popped up portraying him as a dufus.

So he went on this comedy website and wrote an article linking back to most, if not all, of the places that had used his picture without permission (including this unsuspecting blogger) and said that, while he was not going to throw a fit or demand people take it down, couldn't they use this more flattering image that he would also provide for free? And thus he posted a similar but unarguably more flattering picture.

In this comedian's defense; it wasn't right for people to use his photo unlicensed and unaccredited and I too would be annoyed to find an unflattering photo of myself floating about the internet with hashtags of #dumbass and #assholes.

In the bloggers defense: When you run a small blog with few readers and less money, it is much easier to find photos via a google image search, than through a professional website that you must pay for and then credit the photographer.

Lessons to be learned: Don't take unflattering photos of yourself and post them on the internet. Don't use unaccredited photos unless you want it to possibly bite you hard in the butt someday.

Now, this poor blogger's previously quiet site has been blown up with comments (unwittingly?) directed there by the comedian...and they are not nice comments.

But She Has A Great Personality!

I was looking at someone I've know for about five months today. Not a friend, just an acquaintance that I'm not overly fond of. As I looked, I realized that the person was really very unattractive. This seems harsh, I know, but allow me to explain.

I realized right after this exactly how harsh that really was, and immediately began to question my realization. Why was this person suddenly so unattractive, I asked myself? It came to me that this wasn't a sudden development. Rather, over the time I have known this person they have been slipping more and more in my perception. Perhaps interestingly, their outward appearance has not altered in that time, but I have grown to know them better and I realized that their insides were ugly.

The person is not attractive in physical aspects, but if their personality was better then it would be something easily overlooked. It's a cliche I know, but the line "oh, but they have a great personality" is true. Some people are plain or even unattractive by society's standards, but they have shining warmth and good humor which makes them beautiful.

In contrast to this person I was examining today, a few years ago I met a young man in a work situation (I no longer know him, so I feel I may be a little freer with details). When I met the young man, my first impression was not complimentary. Aside from his rather plain exterior, he seemed to have a sour disposition, and not much of a sense of humor. Being that it was a work situation, and not merely social, I was forced to endure this man whom I had immediately judged to be a donkey's rear end.

Day by day, I realized I was wrong. He had a dry, sarcastic sense of humor, an incredible sense of duty, and ambition up the wazoo.

As time as passed, I have realized how much we were actually alike. It has given me a nightmare of how people may in fact preceive me upon first meeting.

As my observations of his inner self grew, the way I saw his exterior changed as well. The plain young man was replaced by someone I respected and liked. I became attached and considered him a friend, and then began to wish for more. I didn't know at the time how my perception of him had altered from what a casual observer might find, until I introduced him to my best friend at the time.

She, of course, knew my feelings on the topic of him, and from my descriptions expected some godly representation of a man. Upon finding a rather plain, apparently serious young man, she was disappointed and did not hesitate much to tell me so.

There is a person I know now for whom I have enormous liking (friendship wise, don't get any ideas) and as I had this entire thought process today I began to wonder if my perception of this person had changed as well. As I thought, I couldn't see that it had, because this person had presented to me a warm, humorous exterior from the start. I came to the conclusion rather swiftly that I could not judge whether or not this person was attractive, because I had a biased opinion. The personality of this person is such that I would answer in the affirmative almost no matter what.

I could go over every relationship, of every degree, that I engage in with the humans around me, and find dozens more examples of this.

I am writing this morning to tell you, quite simply, that your personality (at least for me) is at least 80% of the beauty (or lack thereof) that I will perceive within you. First impressions are not always lasting. If I am wrong about you, and you show me, then I will change my opinions and my impression of you.

This has made me think of who I project to others, as well. I haven't been able to decide if I like who I think I'm projecting. Or, rather, if I like how people may be perceiving me. As I am sure I have said many times before, I really like myself. I do. But I know that not everyone is going to, and selfishly, I want them all to.

Food for thought.

On a side note: I am sunburned and uncomfortable. PALE AND PROUD! (my version of P & P)

Fanmail, MIA Authors & Aspirations For the Future

I have been frustrated of late with authors who become successful and no longer sort through their inboxes and answer mail. This is going to seem unreasonable, I know, because people like JK Rowling, Stephenie Meyer & Suzanne Collins get SO MUCH mail that they would never write another word if they took the time to look at and respond to every piece of fan mail they received. I get that. Really, I do.

I just keep thinking that there has got to be some way to make it work. Some way to still thank the people who have made your career possible, the readers. And then there are the aspiring writers who, without fail, will always write long, thoughtful, complimentary letters and ask for advice. Isn't it the duty of successful authors to encourage the next generation of writers along?

When people hear that I have written books (people who previously thought they knew me based off of their own misconceptions) they look at me in a completely different way. They think that writing a book is some sort of mystical, far off thing that only strange old people can accomplish. But there are hundreds of thousands of girls and boys out there writing stories almost as soon as they can write anything. All of their dreams, aspirations, and even nightmares are caught up and flung upon the page for anyone willing to see.

I want you all to know, that when I finally make it, when I am finally successful enough to quit my day job and write full time, I swear to you I will find a way to still read my mail. If I have to employ a secretary, nay two secretaries, I will.

I will.

Because readers matter to me. Readers are the people who make my days bright. When I see reviews, or when I listen to someone tell me about one of my books, my entire world just feels like it's lit on fire. It's glowing, and warm, I can feel this burning spreading through my chest and into my outer extremities and I am happy.

Why should any author deny themselves that glorious feeling?

And the few times when I have succumbed, and written to an author, I have received one reply. I don't know if she will ever read this, but this is a huge thank you to Tamora Pierce for responding personally to the email of a very young (16, I believe) Shannon A Hiner with encouraging words. I think about that response often and how grateful I am that she took the time. It wasn't just a couple of words even, but a full letter response.

In thirty years, I want to be that kind of author. She has written dozens of books, is highly successful, and is still down-to-earth enough to respond to one struggling, very young, idealistic writer.

Just A Human

Last night I was laying down, wondering what it would be like to find out I'm a shape shifter, so far into life already. I mean, the who I am that I am I have already molded and decided I like. But what if something were to change drastically, something I could not hope to control or dictate?

It was while I was pondering this that Damon walked in, presumably for an update on how In The Darkness Remain was coming along. Before he could ask, I asked him a question instead.

"Damon, do you think there is any possibility, likelihood, or chance that I could have some latent powers or abilities that might make me non-human or an abnormal human?"

His eyes narrowed suspiciously and he said slowly, "Why?"

"Because...I know that for a human I am extraordinary and different. That sounds conceited, but I really do have faith in those facts. But, I guess it's because of all my time around non-humans, I always feel as if I'm 'just a human'. in the Immortal World it's not, 'Oh, he's a vampe and she's a human.' No, she is just a human. I am just a human. I want to be more than that."

A little smile was creeping across his face as he regarded me, "So, instead of protesting the unfair treatment of humans, you are simply wanting to be something else?"

"Well, yeah, I want to strive for more, better...I don't want the bar lowered so that I can reach it. I want to achieve reaching the bar on my own."

The smile was whole now as he stared at me, "Can you imagine if everyone thought like that? Striving for better instead of expecting the world to lower it's standards to their level?"


As a footnote to this story, I would like to add that Damon is considered to be speciesist which is the equivalent of a racist but towards other species. My post script would be that I am not a fan of people who wave the word 'racist' around. There is racism left in the world, no doubt. But waving the word around is as irresponsible and offensive as the act itself. Think before you use the word, think hard.