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Thursday, June 9, 2011

Complaint Unto The Cursor

Written yesterday, on my bed, staring at Sam's screen...
WARNING: Completely Random Material!)

Where does the will to write come from? Why does the dreaded Block occur?

As I sit, staring at the blinking cursor I ponder why I cannot write. I feel the draw to my computer screen…I have spent the last few hours pouring over notes and ideas. I have felt the keyboard whispering my name, pulling me closer. Still, as soon as I arrive here nothing comes to my fingertips. My brain knows the stories, knows the plot and the characters better than it knows my own life, but still nothing.

Who invented the cursor? They should be taken out and beaten.

It’s blinking taunts me. What’s the matter writer? Don’t you have anything to say? Yes, dammit! I have heaps to say, they are built up in my mind like piles of gold. Piles of refuse. What is the difference besides in the beholder? If one can look at a pile of gold and think it refuse, then cannot one look at a pile of refuse and see treasure?

Treasure of thought cannot be put down in anything but words. Words. Why dost thou elude me now?

Hours on my hands and all I feel is the pull of housework. Yes, I should be cleaning. I should be vacuuming…but instead I give my hours to a blank computer screen. Why, why can I not fill said screen with anything other than bizarre rambling?

My mind, filled with the desire to write, but not the words. I wander, directionless and tired, through the corridors of my thoughts. There is no one else here right now. No characters stopping me for a word or two, no beasties running rampant in need of proper caging.

Don’t I just know why. It has occurred to me, just this moment, that my characters and beasties must be quite a deal smarter than me.

Who takes the time to read anymore? Why should I write, if no one will read? Can my words be sustained simply on my own enjoyment alone? I know not. From the beginning I have had those willing to read and respond near me. It has been their encouragement that has drawn forth the stories…the thought of their eyes feasting on my words that has brought forth the most delicious chapters and morsels of phrase.

Without viewership my river of inspiration runs murky and sluggish. My desire to delve into the plumby dark depths ebbs and I sit idle..

Staring at the cursor...


  1. Aww...Shannon! I miss you!!
    I loved the part about the inventors of the cursor being taken out and beaten. lol.
    I have been struggling with "The Block" too, though in a completely different way. At least you already have all your characters and the plots and everything all worked out. :P I wish I were to that point. I think my problem is just indecision at this point. So many options! But oh well. Someday...
    Anyway, enough about my problems.
    Hope inspiration returns quickly! *hugs!* :)