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Monday, June 27, 2011

Now Hiring @ Shanco: Snarky Assistant

It has recently been brought to my attention that, as a writer, I should have an Assistant to help organize my projects and obligations as well as buck me up and give advice. After reading an interview of fellow author and witnessing the actions of her own assistant, I know that my assistant cannot be just any random person off the street. I must have a, what I call, Snarky Assistant.

This is not a position easily filled, and I do not expect to do so quickly. Therefore this job posting will be open until filled, without a 'fill-by' date. I will not settle for less than what I want and need. If that means I am my own Snarky Assistant for a time, then I will live (rather unorganized, but I will live.)

If you do not feel that you can fill the post, but know someone who may, I urge you to inform me.

Thank you for your time and reading,

Shannon A Hiner

Position Key: Snarky Assistant

Job Duties:

  • Preview & Critique all written works of S.A. Hiner.
  • Schedule and execute all necessary appointments, interviews, and promotions.
  • Make unplanned trips to the cafĂ© for tea and/or coffee.
  • Keep the same odd hours as the writer, or not mind being woken at odd hours.
  • Have a store of original, uplifting speeches of varying degrees ready at will.
  • Unplanned trips to inspirational sites, such as the river, the dam, the woods, etc.
  • The ability to quote poetry appropriately and accurately.
  • You must understand the writer to a degree that is uncanny, knowing what advice is needed, even if the writer does not want to hear it.

Experience & Education:

  • Experience critiquing writing.
  • A wide interest and knowledge base in random facts.
  • A tested IQ of 120 or better.
  • Uncommon sense
  • Some college preferred, though life-experience is valued more highly.

Necessary Interests:

  • Must love reading, especially of the fantasy and light romance genres.
  • An interest in Astrology is a plus.
  • Knowledge of plot and character archetypes.

Attitudal Features:

  • Trustworthiness is a key requirement for this position. You are likely to see and hear many things that are neither meant, nor appropriate for public knowledge.
  • You should be a witty, slightly sarcastic person who is not offended by biting cynicism.
  • Must be highly intelligent with the sense to apply that intelligence to life in a meaningful way.
  • Stubbornness, not to an extreme, will help you.
  • You should be a generally positive person, not prone to depression.
  • Slobs, personally and physically, need not apply (the writer is a clean-freak).


  • This position may be best filled by a live-in Snarky Assistant, your willingness in this aspect will be weighed for or against you.
  • This is not a paid position until the writer actually starts getting paid.

Benefits Include (but may not be limited to):

  • Prescreening of all of the writer’s books.
  • Trips to the movies/bookstore when inspiration is slow.
  • Homemade cake & cookies (and candy at Christmas!)
  • Homey-care when you are sick or hurt.
  • Optional Sunday dinners at the Hiner Compound. (other option being that this is your one guaranteed day off)
  • One other day off during the week is negotiable.

To Apply: Email, or Facebook message me. You should include prior experience as well as a response to all of the above statements.

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