I stumbled across this the other day whilst reading deleted scenes (yes, I have deleted scenes saved from ALL my books). It's a wee little piece from Tears You Apart, in the beginning before Aubri and Hadrian meet.
At the time, I was writing the book with an entirely different meeting in mind for them. Well, almost entirely. She was always upset and driving (and of course in a fatal accident), but the particulars were much different at first.
You see, normally when I write I'm simply copying down the story as the characters tell it to me. Well, we had had the initial meeting to establish that I knew the jist and would work well with them, but then the two had left me to my own devices for a few days. I was desperate to get some of their story down, so I didn't wait for them to come back and whisper the story in my ears.
It was a stupid thing to do, I admit that. My own attempt, without the particulars was stilted and a bit odd. I am still a pretty good writer though, and there are some interesting scraps left over as a result. It's just, that's not how the story really happened.
Tears You Apart was actually my first attempt at writing a full length book from the point of view of two main characters. When I was finished I felt so good about the attempt that when I revised Only The Stars Know I stuck with that feature. Blood's Faith, the original form of Only The Stars Know had switched back and forth between Zane and Ally, but everything had been done in first person and was confusing. It works much better now.
Anywho, now that I've rambled on so long you've forgotten what this post was about in the first place...I shall share with you, a dream!
The swirl of faces. Blackness, yet so much color. Disorientation and the feeling that nothing is real, but everything is. Who am I? Whomever I want to be. Who are you? Whomever I want you to be. What are we doing? Whatever I want us to be doing. Laughter, fun, excitement. The swirl begins again. And suddenly, a nightmare enters. Everything has gone wrong. People are dying, wolves are chasing, the light switch doesn’t work. The inner conscious takes over, emoting deepest fears and screaming deeper truths.
This is a dream. My dream. I am dreaming.
Figures that I have never met, known, or dared imagine, dance in my head. Faces, voices, memories I don’t yet own. The future is uncertain. I close my eyes against the bright glare. I feel a hand touch mine. I shiver, knowing that this too, is not real. My eyes open, already knowing who I will see. I have never met him. I have never seen him, but for here, in my dreams.
Golden hair, that of an angel surely. Piercing green-gold eyes. An angular face. That of a young man, but his eyes show years, centuries, of learning. Inexplicably, there is a certain darkness to this light man. A feeling of despair. Strange, these things I dream.
He smiles wearily. I swallow, feeling sad beyond explanation. He shakes his head, motioning with his hand for me to be silent. He does not speak, there is no sound in my dream. Only the silence. He mouths words to me. I can’t understand what he’s saying. He is smiling and then disappearing.
I close my eyes.
See, I had to cut it because it's odd...but I couldn't get rid of it because it is also pretty cool.